turning japanese

My friend Michelle is a sweetheart. A loving, generous human being who deserves the absolute best, as far as I'm concerned.
Since she moved out to Los Angeles 2 years ago we've become much closer, ironically enough, enjoying the kind of profound,
heartfelt conversations we never could've had when she was here in Brooklyn: in a bad headspace and consequently an often
belligerent and obnoxious drunk.

Yeah, I was in love with her but I knew it would never happen between us. For one thing, I always believed she was hung up on younger, skinny, good-looking, hipster types with a cocaine problem. (Not really, as it turns out.) Also, by then I'd started to tire of taking on a saviour complex. I felt like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon: "I'm too old for this shit." Sorry, fix your own lives, ladies. You've had a few decades to figure it out.

Last week Michelle calls me from California to catch up and eventually inquire about my lovelife. I tell her about Maria and she gets all excited and starts urging me to pursue her; to put up a fight; and how much women love that. I'm not convinced and explain to her that Maria hasn't really given me any incentive to do anything like that. Finally, after a bit of failed cajoling, she gives up.

"You know what? You're not that into this chick."

"I guess I'm not. I mean she's really fun and sexy and I'd like to date her but I'm not bowled over or anything."

"So is there anyone that like that?"

"How so?"

"I mean, who gets your motor running?"

"No one, lately."

"OK, tell me, who do you immediately think of when you wake up and want to jack-off to?"

[Wow, I guess Michelle and I are that tight, huh?]

"Um, well there's a couple of women who I've recently slept with..."

"No, not chicks you've fucked; women you feel a connection to."

"Honey, besides you, in the last five years there's only been two other women who've made my motor run, as you say.
And since you left it's just been Patty, and you know how that turned out...and why are you giggling? Are you mocking me?"

"No, of course not. It's just that...you...mentioned me in that way..."

"Well, you know I've always been in love with you. From the moment I laid eyes on you at the bar that night."

"You know I love you, too. And I care 'bout you and love to hear your voice."

I bet you're wondering what this last exchange led to, right? I'll tell you: talk of artistic expression, charitable work, and a few other topics. Oh, and how Michele thinks both of us should put out good energy so we can find someone to love and be reciprocated. Um, ok.

So much for Michelle and I. But hey, maybe from here on in I can get her to talk dirty to me.